rage came with my morning coffee

wake up. rage.

go to bed. rage.

For a long time, I thought I was the problem. Because I was angry. Rageful. It would start after barely opening my eyes. The urgent need for me before I’d even had a rational thought. The day stretching out before me with an endless pouring out of my cup.

How was I supposed to keep pouring? There was nothing in it to begin with.

And then going to bed, I would lay in the dark feeling like I was at the bottom of a dark pit with only my shame over my angry reactions as company.

I thought It was thing I needed to fix. Hide. Manage. Be ashamed of.
But over time, I realised something I now hold as core truth:

Anger isn’t the problem.
It was trying to tell me something. It was protecting me.

It showed up to protect me from holding too much for too long.
To protest when my needs had been consistently sidelined.
To raise a do not enter sign when I was overstimulated, under-supported, and still expected myself to stay calm and kind.

My rage didn’t come out of nowhere.
It came from silence.
From the parts of me that had gone too long without being heard.

My anger was trying to help me.

The first thing I started doing was to get curious instead of judgemental about why I was angry…what was underneath? What was it protecting? And then, why did it feel it was so urgent to fix things? Why was it so intense? How long had I been denying myself what I needed….and why?

In the Seeing Red: What Mom Rage Really Says workshops I’m leading this November, I’ll be sharing what I’ve learned about anger: how it protects, how it speaks, and how it shows up in our bodies and relationships.

We’ll explore questions like:

💥 What’s underneath my anger in this moment?
💥 How do I know when I’m reaching my edge?
💥 What helps me pause instead of explode or shut down?
💥 How do I repair with compassion (for my kids and myself)?

We’ll talk about the nervous system.
We’ll reflect on our patterns.
We’ll practice listening to our anger, not judging it.

I’ve learned that I don’t need to eliminate my anger to be a good parent, I need to be grateful for its protection and help it to find ways to express its concerns that aren’t harmful.

I know now that if I try to get rid of my anger, I am handing down the same lessons I learned to my kids:

that anger is dangerous,

that it should be avoided,

that it’s out of control,

that it isn’t loveable.

If rage is your push to change…I see you.

If you’ve had moments you’re not proud of...
If you’ve thought, “I can’t keep doing it like this,”
…you’re not alone.

This workshop is where we begin.

And after we meet in that space, I’ll be offering a limited number of 1:1 coaching sessions to go deeper—into your story, your nervous system, your patterns, your healing.